I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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