I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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