I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
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