That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
why do cheetos always look like penises
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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