hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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