So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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