I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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