Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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