You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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