New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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