Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
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Some one left their pants in the elevator.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Mom said you looked used
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize