i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
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He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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