Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
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Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
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oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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