She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize