if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
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Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
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I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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