is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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