Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
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