I think I am morally bankrupt
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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