oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
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We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
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Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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