That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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