ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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