Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz

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  (313): mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz http://tfl.nu/kyga
  Replies (21) Good night (457) Bad night (1621) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.

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  (609): I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun. http://tfl.nu/l7dj
  Replies (14) Good night (3469) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.

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  (717): Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk. http://tfl.nu/z5dl
  Replies (13) Good night (3702) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i have to get rid of the hedgehog.

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Does it come with a cage?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  yes. and food and toys.

  (765): View more from Indiana

  i'll trade you an 8th for it

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  deal.

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  (201): i have to get rid of the hedgehog. (765): Does it come with a cage? (201): yes. and food and toys. (765): i'll trade you an 8th for it (201): deal. http://tfl.nu/2d4g
  Replies (26) Good night (9606) Bad night (981)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can

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  (610): Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can http://tfl.nu/8h8s
  Replies (17) Good night (6048) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.

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  (215): we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius. http://tfl.nu/4mg0
  Replies (19) Good night (3966) Bad night (762) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Because we had sex in one.

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  (919): Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory? (1-919): Because we had sex in one. http://tfl.nu/y2am
  Replies (7) Good night (5580) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk

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  (561): Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk http://tfl.nu/69zw
  Replies (2) Good night (1670) Bad night (1092) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.

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  (215): Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places. http://tfl.nu/tyy2
  Replies (5) Good night (2878) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.

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  (231): You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked. http://tfl.nu/mtva
  Replies (4) Good night (2158) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.

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  (310): I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life. http://tfl.nu/lr0e
  Replies (7) Good night (475) Bad night (942) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?

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  (760): My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going? http://tfl.nu/5t69
  Replies (9) Good night (630) Bad night (1210) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?

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  (425): So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt? http://tfl.nu/9qop
  Replies (8) Good night (1477) Bad night (285) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.

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  (570): Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends. http://tfl.nu/utpt
  Replies (5) Good night (225) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys

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  (505): I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys http://tfl.nu/88rh
  Replies (10) Good night (1266) Bad night (207) Order T-Shirt

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