I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
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After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
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It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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