I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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