Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  her vagine was all disorganized.

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  (630): her vagine was all disorganized. http://tfl.nu/l46f
  Replies (5) Good night (486) Bad night (1168) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.

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  (650): i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry. http://tfl.nu/ss3s
  Replies (6) Good night (3116) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.

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  (817): is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign. http://tfl.nu/8cf5
  Replies (51) Good night (2275) Bad night (984)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks

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  (484): Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah (215): Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks http://tfl.nu/j7v7
  Replies (11) Good night (3514) Bad night (752)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.

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  (413): You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago. http://tfl.nu/l8io
  Replies (10) Good night (5804) Bad night (1082)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?

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  (832): Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions? http://tfl.nu/z9u9
  Replies (14) Good night (3116) Bad night (1608) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"

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  (315): mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!" http://tfl.nu/d3gl
  Replies (22) Good night (5010) Bad night (1508) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.

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  (914): I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me. http://tfl.nu/p01s
  Replies (1) Good night (1605) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.

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  (613): I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party. http://tfl.nu/ibqy
  Replies (11) Good night (2872) Bad night (590) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"

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  (252): I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong" http://tfl.nu/l3k0
  Replies (6) Good night (2099) Bad night (574)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?

  (941): View more from Florida

  I was attacked by whores

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You threw up on yourself again didn't you?

  (941): View more from Florida

  They were strong whores

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  (609): How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club? (941): I was attacked by whores (609): You threw up on yourself again didn't you? (941): They were strong whores http://tfl.nu/xoz8
  Replies (7) Good night (1914) Bad night (482)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business

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  (412): I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business http://tfl.nu/ujri
  Replies (8) Good night (920) Bad night (608) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.

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  (443): Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers? (301): Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis. http://tfl.nu/hcxa
  Replies (4) Good night (611) Bad night (675)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.

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  (410): after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy. http://tfl.nu/riha
  Replies (4) Good night (821) Bad night (194)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.

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  (276): Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees. http://tfl.nu/acn4
  Replies (8) Good night (1016) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt

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