then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize