Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
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All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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