Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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