My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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