I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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