He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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