Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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