your room smells of hookers.
And success
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize