Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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