So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize