That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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