Jerry, you need to find god
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
As shirtless as possible
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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