i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize