yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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