Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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