On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize