You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
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