He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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