Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
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No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
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He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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