just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We left an ass print on the piano.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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