drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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