just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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