Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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