i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize