I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
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ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
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Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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